04/30/10

Reoccurring theme....coffee! They don't let me have creamers. They don't let me have sugar. I drink it black. I don't like coffee but I drink it allot. Tea is for Brits and Hot Chocolate is for Swiss. Hot water is for birthin' babies so that leaves coffee. Life's not hard, it just lacks options.

04/29/2010

Every now and then it's nice to have the power go out. It becomes amazing how loud the sound of a million silent air conditioners being shut down all at once can be. Sounds of bugs overwhelm the senses and I seem to be confused. Miami is the white noise of electricity, the haunting sound of steel belts on asphalt and the swarm of Spanish speaking people who take over the background as easy as they've changed the border shape of my state, my country. Don't get me wrong. I come from the center of the U.S. and don't belong here any more than they do. Noises don't sound real to me and do not bring me home.

04/28/2010

Sketch in black, blue and white acrylics. Size is 20x24. Blue is Liquitex and Golden makes the others. Feeling fairly factual at the moment.  

04/27/2010

Monet once said that within quantity you will find quality. There are only x amount of masterpieces. The more pieces painted the more chances of a Masterpiece Somewhere there has got to be something that misses the mark. This will be my quantity. Maybe I treat myself too kind ...... this is a self portrait if I had long hair.

04/26/2010

The anatomy of the drawing. This sketched out in about 3 minutes. Totally from my head, you will see some obvious problems. We will get back to that. I put down many lines then find the one that carries the weight and start going over and over and over it until the line dominates the lesser lines. Becuase this is from my head, things like making the knee come out was not solved. I will probably bring this back in various stages of completion but for now, this is the drawing of the day.

04/25/2010

The sum of all the parts and a cup of coffee. I am falling behind on things. This is a self portrait. If you put my soul next to this picture you would be so impressed with how dead on accurate my drawing skills are. Television, my soul cries out for something good on television. I need a mindless dose of images and sounds that make me feel like I have done something. Something like where I run a lot as I lay on the couch. Or someone shoots at me and I dodged the bullet as I lay on the couch. Or I am at the beach with a hot babe and the wind blows through the curtains as I lay on the couch. It has never mattered, and is probably best for humanity, if I travel the globe on my couch. Save a shit load of gas!

04/24/2010

Technically I missed a day. It's 2 in the morning. I finished this painting today, an oil on canvas. I have had it laying around haunting me for a long time now. Clean up the ghosts. I could not come up with the ending then is all came together. Unless you think it sucks, then nevermind. I am already wanting to go back in but it done, done and it's on the the next one......

04/23/2010

This is a sketch...drawing....study that was instrumental in a oil I just completed. Though I did not do it today, it was the focus of tonight's "playing with photoshop." I don't normally consider photoshop an art form but it raises questions. When the caveman gave up hands for a paint brush, would that be equal to the brush giving way to a computer program. I have a hard time letting go of pencil on paper. An average attention span of the everyday, disposable, art loving consumer has made everything a "what's next?"- "what's it worth?" life. Glancing back to times we can never participate in, finally paying attention to some poor soul that suffered, finally getting heard, it's sad to know he will never hear the answer to his questions. Will someone answer my question 100 years from now? This question only matter to me because I am alive right now. In this fact alone I find comfort.

Comes on the first heat,

Clothes stick to damp skin.

Focus on the task at hand,

Circular spins of loading pages,

Only notice it in my eyes.

Creeps up, nap would be nice,

Page is loaded, I do my thing,

Click enter.

Circular spins of loading pages,

Again the heat,

Summer rounds the corner.

04/22/2010

In the mention of names unknown to us......... In their passage goes a life lived. When the time is over what was important? Family, friends, sharing or listenning. Is it how hard you worked or how much you laughed. In it's passing was their oppertunity lost or gained. I feel it's in faith and trust that where you are is where you should be and overall happiness is the gift of life.

04/21/2010

Ok! Time to be serious.... seriously. These are serious times. There are serious times and not serious times. Serious surronds me. Serious is around me. Serious.. serious ...... serious. Yeah Right! Not really, do have to seriously pee. Yellow P......... aint got it yet? Watch out for the doggy stank .... and do you eat that yellow p"aint." Oh yeah, comming out of down times gets mighty strange. It is not the time to ask me something intelligent. Second thought, there is never a great time to ask me anything intelligent. Odds are fifty fifty that I will say something, sound serious, and be it life or death, you can bet I did not think it through. If you ask me in "serious time" your survival chance increases greatly. Now Sherlock, question; "What state of mind was I in when I started this blog?" Hint .... not during "serious" time. Opps! can't cross my legs any tighter, gotta go ..... I mean gotttaaaagooooo!

04/20/2010

Need more things to place in moments.  I see things comming to ends. Moments hold satisfaction if you can stay. Human nature peeks ahead. I get scared. Overwhelmed. Should I Plan? I get lost in the infinite swarming scenerios. I stumble back to the moment. Safe.

04/19/2010

Sometimes the darkness comes. I can't say why. I can't tell you how hard I fight. Try to live in the moment. Can't tell anyone. I can see in their face that it's a burdon. Best to hold on. It's all tricks of the mind anyway. I am no different and my darkness is unique to none. I turn away at your pain. Do not sit for mine. Darkness goes to light as it spins it's circle. Right now I should be doing something else. Should I have been doing something else then this is what I should do. Control, the biggest illusion of all. In the darkness I relive every word, every joke and every embarassing moment. In the dark I reach to touch something familiar. In the dark I do not know which way I go. I hate this part of life.

04/18/1985

I think I am going to stay in the past a little longer. Tried to do something today but I must be having a dry spell thing going on. Welcome to my perfect place. I don't let just anyone go there. You can't get there by boat, plane or drugs, though the latter ..... no kids ..... say no to drugs. No, the only way to get there is in my head so no throwing cigarette butts out the window, please.